I Would Post More Tomorrow, But I'll be Heckabusy

Heckabusy - adj An imagined level of extreme busyness

There's only one more day left in the pledge drive, and if you wait to call,

the phones will be heckabusy.

- NPR Host

National Match Your Coffee Cup Day

For some reason my co-workers are making fun of me today. Ok, it's a normal day at the office. So, the reason they are making fun of me, today, is that my shirt matches my coffee cup, or more accurately in my case, my tea cup. What Punks.

I can only assume the ridicule is because they did not realize it was July 12th, National Match Your Coffee Cup Day (MYCCD).  The faceless followers of the Patch Hill Party Blog, who are quite intelligent, might be thinking, "I have never heard of this holiday, are you making it up?" Maybe. "Um, " the Faceless Followers continue, "What makes you think you can start a holiday?" And to that I say, this is a Party Blog. I'm pretty sure our mission statement has something in it about creating holidays.

Also, that weird pirate guy started a holiday and if he can do it, I'm certain I can. I'm kind of smart and definitely not as mental as that guy. As proof of both points, I present the following facts:
1. I have not appeared on Wife Swap
2. I do not dress like a pirate

For those that know me, we are not counting the eye patch in six grade, because that was forced upon me when a pencil embedded itself in my eye, thank you Ryan Shaw, and was not worn by choice. For those of you who don't know me, yes, I am the person who had their eye poked out by one of the pencil throwing masses. The eye is fine, it didn't actually get poked out, just impaled slightly. The pencil missed all major eye nerves and vessels, and healed perfectly. So I just had the opportunity to walk around for a few weeks looking like a dork++, button shirt tucked in to jeans that rolled up to reveal a flannel plaid lining plus an eye patch. Sweet.

Luckily, I already knew how to program, and computer rooms had been invented, so, not only did I have friends, but we had a hideout. Anyway, the whole incident was not as impressive as my friend Darlene, who fell backwards while sitting in a chair, and impaled her hand clean through on a pencil that was, thanks to the miracle of shag carpeting, sticking straight up. She still has a scar. On the up side, getting stabbed with a pencil helps one fit in with ones programming peers. There is a worrisomely high pencil-stabbing-incident-rate among those that go on become software engineers. But I digress.

Why should you participate in MYCCD?

1. On MYCCD day, it's easier to find the owner of orphaned cups that get left on your desk or in the kitchen.
2. MYCCD helps socialize engineers, they may actually look at their coworkers to confirm matching status.
3. MYCCD supports local business and Saves the Planet. People will have to buy reusable cups to avoid MYCCD ridicule.
4. MYCCD is fun, fun, fun! (Ok, that's just drunk sincerity.)

As this list proves, when the Patch Hill Party Blog invents a holiday, not only does it help people, it helps save the entire planet. Beat that weird pirate guy.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPaddyWagon

July Fourth Photo Album

I finally posted larger photos, I know, I know, a day late and a dollar short. Well, now you can take a look (and hopefully enjoy) all the pics!  This includes a look at the two new plants I bought at Trombley Gardens and planted right at the start of our 100 degree heat wave.  I have Great Timing.  I've been giving the new plants lots of water, and they seem to be doing well, so that's good.  Also, the lilacs from VT that we transplanted are doing much better than we first thought.  We thought we only saved two, but it looks like four of them survived!

Official iPad Complaint

Since my blog has so many followers, I know you must be among them Mr. Steve Jobs. So, I am going to register a complaint. iTunes updated this morning. After the update, I downloaded a pile of app updates, moved my latest photos into my photo folder and plugged in my iPad to sync it. You must understand, sir, I manually sync my music. Manually. But this morning, I got one of your auto music syncs.

Now, I have never been a fan of your auto sync, as it violates a fundamental programming law: it deletes things without permission. I feel you really should be punished for this violation, but since you provide a workaround, even though the default is wrong, I was willing to overlook it. Now, I am not so sure.

Apparently the setting was adjusted. Due to the 100 degree temps, the Server of All Music Storage, was off. Not that it is any of your business. What is your business is my work day music listening pleasure and iPad happiness were interrupted. Lena Horne, Scott Joplin, X-Ray Spex, Lena Horne, X-Ray Spex, Lena Horne, etc. I started thinking shuffle had gone wonky. Then I looked at my song list.

For some reason, Mr. Jobs, you seem to see nothing wrong with deleting my stuffs without my permission. I like my stuffs Mr. Jobs, and your clean up was not helpful, nor was it appreciated. It is reminiscent of my mother's bedroom cleaning technique of putting anything that was on the floor into a trash bag and throwing it out. Only music I bought on my iPad remains. Now I will have to sync everything over. And it will take forever. And I will be displeased.

And by displeased, i mean more displeased than i am currently. I am predicting increased displeasure. While my displeasure is increasing, just thinking of future increases, I would like to add that your music sync sucks. I have to go to a separate special menu item to get music I purchased on my iPad to sync to my server. What The Fudge? Why is app sync so smooth and music sync so crappy? Do your teams not talk? We already know you apparently only hire males. You should seriously think about your hiring practices. Not only would hiring female programmers help you comply with US labor laws, it would also help communication and help you avert bad product names that land your logo on feminine hygiene products.

But I digress. Ah. Warrior in Woolworths. Again. My day is almost done, but fear not Mr. Jobs, I still have energy, and I think you have earned a complimentary house cleaning. Mom, get out the trash bags, someone needs your help...

- Posted, while miffed, from my iPad

Location:My Desk

4th of July

July 4th weekend was full of fun.  We hiked a mountain, spent time in the garden, made pies, had a cookout, watched fireworks, bought a conjoined summer squash, did summer squash surgery and taught Vincent and Picasso to stay. Ok, we taught Picasso to stay.   All kinds of flowers are out and the yard is beautiful.  I figured putting a million photos on the blog wasn't the best idea, so I tried out Picassa's collage feature, to give a feel for all the colors.  I'll post some full photos tomorrow!

Dad's Guide to Facebook

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Hey Dad! We were talking about Facebook tonight on the phone, so I decided to provide you with this handy Facebook usage guide. This will help you be all hip and trendy on The Facebook. First rule, drop the 'the', it's just Facebook. Second, note how short the 'wall' replies are. Everything on your wall can be seen by your friends, including replies from people you know and they don't. Don't bother figuring that last line out, just assume everything you see is public. For long messages, you should just send a message (menu on right under the mini Picasso pic). Oh, that reminds me, pic is picture. No one says picture anymore, due to the fact that it is > 1 syllable.

What kind of messages show up on your wall? Some are auto generated, and some are posted by friends. It is important to understand the types of messages that are expected / acceptable in the brave new world that is Facebook. Please refer to the above sample page, it is an actual page, altered only by the red, helpful and very legible, numbering system. The numbers can be matched to the numbers below for a complete Facebook posting guide.

1. Automatic: Look! A friend of mine, has a new friend! Heartwarming.
Your response: No comments or 'likes' are necessary. If you also know the new friend, and are not yet Facebook friends, then say hi and send a friend request! If you ever friend someone and find out you don't know them, you can un-friend them quietly. Surprisingly enough, Facebook figured out it's tacky to tell the world that you un-friended someone. They will tell/sell just about any other information you put on their site.

2. Friend Status Update: "I'm interested in the environment, blah blah blah"
Your response: You can 'like' this to show support. If you hate environmentalists or like smoking, no posting for you. You would be missing the point of Facebook. Posting long or overly argumentative replies will show that you are either crazy, old or maybe both. If you really feel like arguing, you should start a blog and post about the scandal that was created when you had to kick your Facebook friend out of your Rock Band.

3. Friend Status Updates: everybody likes ducklings
Your response: you can like this, or post a related comment. Good job Beth, excellent example. Truthfully this post should be the definition of Facebook. Facebook, in the end, really is the duckling butt of the web.

4. Friend Status Update: thanks everyone
Your response: you can post a related reply. Friends sometimes post on your wall, or in reply to a status update, to let you know some small vital piece of information. Like here, we find out a package is on the way. Nice!

5. Automatic: Philomena scared a bear! Wowzwer!
Your Response:No response or like needed. This is autogenerated from an annoying Facebook App. App is short for application (>1syl). Facebook apps should not be confused with iPad apps. iPad apps are cool.

6. Friend Comment: LOL even though this is not funny and I'm not Laughing Out Loud
Your Response: None required. This is more to let you know what LOL stands for, and that now people use it like like, or like we used to like use like when we were like younger. In other words, frequently. For awhile the simple smiley :) was popular, but that has been usurped by this as a more popular method of showing a comment is light hearted. I blame the elaborate 'emoticons' for this annoying new trend. LOL! LMAO is a variant of this and stands for Laughing My fAnny Off. ROTFLMAO, is the elaborate version of the saying meaning, Rolling On The Floor Laughing My fAnny Off. You also may see people posting WTF. This is to express confusion, outrage and the like. It, of course, stands for What The Fudge.

So, that is the ins and outs of posting. You have passed stage one! Good goin' ol' guy! Only a few more concepts to go!

I'm pretty sure you are familiar with the menus on the left, but do you know about the helpful info on the right. If it's a Facebook friend's birthday, it will tell you on the right, so you can post Happy Birthday on their wall. Also, it will help explain the loads of Happy Birthday messages you get on your birthday, or on some random day if you entered a bogus birthday into Facebook. Your Facebook friends aren't more organized or thoughtful then you, they just happened to log in and see the reminder. It's like they virtually care.

Sometimes Facebook uses the right hand side to suggest friends, or remind you about friends you haven't talked to in awhile. Just seeing the reminder will make you feel closer.

Facebook also uses their highly advanced algorithm to suggest interests. As number 7 shows in the above sample page, Facebook had cleverly determined that many people who like 'reading' also like contemporary r&b. They think, since I like reading, I might like this too! Clearly 'readers', much like Dr Who fans, come from such a small fringe group, their interests are likely to overlap.

So now you know Facebook helps you find friends you can talk about duck butts with, while also suggesting interests you have no interest in and allowing you to keep close to your friends and family without actually corresponding. Soon, you too will be saying 'Thank God for social networking!'

P.S. You are not allowed to post 'You're Welcome' as a comment. :^p

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:The Facebook on The inter-tubes