Important Things You Need To Know

Being Friday, I think it's important to round up the Important Things that have been going on.  I decided this when the morning show that was on informed me, "It's Friday. Now THAT'S News."  It sure seems to pass for it.

Important Things to Know from The Morning Show

• It's Friday (I'm glad they haven't stopped reporting the day yet.)
• Sometimes you feel like fries, sometimes a baked potato.  Sometimes it depends on how many fries you have had during the week, after all it's important to have "everything in moderation." (Mom once told us they only got french fries when they went to the fair.  Apparently that was deprivation, not to be confused with moderation).

Important Things to Know from CNN.com

• From their "Single? Welcome to the Club" feature: "More than half the unwed are women."  (there's a shocker)
• From the Headlines: "Tainted egg sickness likely to spread" (I thought it was salmonella, or more commonly food poisoning, but apparently people are suffering from The Tainted Egg)

Important Things to Know from Fox News

• From the Tasteful "Features and Faces" section: "Cougar Love Just a Theory?" reveals that a thorough study of an unnamed number of online daters confirms that "the phenomenon of the 'cougar' is a myth, confined to the world of celebrities." (At least we know we can count on Fox news to get to the heart of the matter)
• From their "Mosque Debate Could Linger Into November", check out their forums! (the racist-sexist-misogynistic-general-bias-generating-hate-fear-and-anger reporting department had so many stories this week!  Good job guys! Anyway, Fox set up a forum where you can help them do a better job reporting!!! So navigate over to the "Why American's Believe Untruth" Forum and leave your suggestions. I'll suggest they rename the forum "Why American's Believe Terminal-logical-inexactitudes.")
• From Fox Health: "How to Tell If You Are Cheating" (Umm... Ok...)

Important Things to Know from NHPR.org

• From their Headlines: "Bill Binnie's full-page ad says newspaper uses 'Communist Marxist Source' to attack him." (I want to meet this source. I wonder if he's left over from the 50s, or if he escaped from Inception)