(AP) The story of the breakup of a small local cover band has taken several unexpected twists and turns. AP reporters tracked down Ethel, after receiving an email from her stating her location. They confirmed she has indeed left the state and, in fact, she has left the entire region. Such a drastic move left many reporters questioning the reasons for her actions. Several questions were directed towards Ethel when she arrived home, but she deflected all questions, stating the AP should talk with her representative.
After a few moments of confusion it was discovered that her representative was a stray tabby cat named Sunshine, who was sitting on a hand written letter. The letter disclosed the following information:
Ethel decided to leave the band Socks and Rockets after Creative Differences with Certain Individuals could not be resolved to her satisfaction. Ethel felt Selling Out would be in everyones best interest, while her band mates wanted to Stay True to the Music. After exhausting all avenues of communication, Ethel decided it was time to move on and start a career in the opera/hip hop/holiday/children's hybrid genre. Research shows the popularity of these genres should create profitable opportunities. She asks everyone to refer to the following link:
http://boingboing.net/2008/04/17/25-minute-compositio.html
Sunshine
Ethel's Representative
July 25, 2010
This is where the story becomes really strange. Sources informed the AP Ethel had been connected to a string of violent library robberies in the area. Eyewitnesses stated that one of the robbers was rapping something that sounded like "buy a bow, buy a gun, for Christmas at Target" Which is reportedly similar to lyrics Ethel has been working on for a new song, allegedly titled Children Love Yom Kippur. Police confirmed they had questioned Ethel in the case, but the investigation is still open and no charges have been filed. Ethel's Facebook page states she had "... already testified to not being in area at the time."
When asked to which "area" she was referring, Ethel replied "No comment." Needless to say, Sunshine stayed quiet as well.
- Posted using BlogPress from the AP iPad
Character assassination!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your concern. We want to assure you that we here at the AP are responsible reporters. The cat's name is not Sunshine. It was changed, to protect the innocent. We hope the assuages any concerns you may have had.
ReplyDelete- (AP)